Did you do that on purpose?!? Those words struck fear into the very depths of my heart as a child. They were most often asked against a background of anguished tears or something broken. It was a question presumed pre-meditated action and assumed guilt. Were my actions intentional or accidental? Was I to blame? As I have reflected on the idea of a holy Lent, this question of “…on purpose” against a background of anguished tears and something broken has taken on a new meaning. We often find purpose when we act in a purposeful manner. Lent gives us permission to do at least two things on purpose: penitence and preparation. Yet even now, says the LORD, return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; rend your hearts and not your clothing. Return to the LORD, your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love, and relents from punishing. Joel 2: 12-13 As this passage from the prophet Joel indicates, the Lord longs for his people to turn to him “on purpose” with “weeping, and with mourning ;”( penitence) to “rend your hearts and not your clothing” (preparation). It is still a matter of premeditated, intentional action. And this “on purpose” action requiring penitence and preparation will likely result in tears of both grief and joy, as well as a broken and contrite heart. Penitence and Preparation Penitence is often defined as remorse and regret for wrong doing. It is the true grief for wrong we have done and good we have left undone. Preparation uses the tools of confession, fasting, and prayer to begin to identify the wreckage of our past and ask God to help clear it away. The call to a holy Lent is not a call to shame and punish ourselves for our misdoings; to wallow in self-contempt and condemnation. Penitence moves past the feelings of regret and remorse to a willingness for amendment of life. Many find it helpful to take inventory of their life and to make a formal confession as a step in putting their own house in order. This is the rending of our hearts and not just our clothes…doing the preparatory work that moves us from simply reciting our list of sins and wickedness to confessing the true nature of our heart. As we step out of anguish into action, penitence and preparation help provide an element of purposeful surrender. We find the courage and grace to lay down our will and pour out our heart as we ask the Lord to transform us. As you spend time this Lent reading the scriptures, praying, and fasting, I encourage you to make it a season of preparation and penitence “ON PURPOSE.” I appeal to you therefore, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God-- what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:1-2 Blessings, Matthew+ Almighty and everlasting God, you hate nothing you have made and forgive the sins of all who are penitent: Create and make in us new and contrite hearts, that we, worthily lamenting our sins and acknowledging our wretchedness, may obtain of you, the God of all mercy, perfect remission and forgiveness; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen. (BCP p. 217) | 
